“My child needs some sort of therapy? What?”. So, receiving the news that your child will need some additional help on the road of life can be overwhelming. As parents, we generally always try to give our children the best we can, but having a child who needs a little or a lot of extra help is stressful to say the least. But how can we make this challenge easier and help our children to succeed faster?
As a mother of twin boys with developmental delays, I have had to really find a way to help my children as much as I can in a way that supports their therapies. Here are some of the tips I have picked up over time:
1. Open communication
If you are reading this, then you probably take your child to some sort of therapy on a weekly basis. In order to get the most out of your sessions with professionals, you need to be open and honest about where your child is in terms of their behaviours.
Your therapist needs to know if your child is still having regular meltdowns, struggling with eating or bathing, or any other behaviour that you might not think is important.
It is also commonplace for some parents to feel ashamed of their child’s behaviour, or to feel that they aren’t doing a good enough job as parents and therefore shy away from sharing their children’s struggles with therapists.
Don’t do this!
From my experience, therapists have observed and heard it all. They know that the children they are treating struggle in some area or another. They can also easily pick up what areas those are.
You are not failing as a parent because your child shows some behaviours that are challenging or embarrassing. And you want to solve these problems, right?
So, the best and fastest way to do this is to tell your therapist that you are struggling with them and ask for help to handle them better. This will also give your therapist the best idea of what to work on more in therapy.
The results of open communication will be far better than you trying to deal with these on your own.
2. Observe your child as often as possible
What do I mean by this? Yes, sure, you live with your son or daughter, and are probably quite aware of what they do and like or dislike.
But remember, that when starting therapy or sometimes at other points in your therapeutic journey, you will have those loooong forms to fill in that ask you all kinds of questions about your child’s behaviours. Questions like “do they react to loud noises?” and others.
If these forms seem overwhelming, you can ask for an extra week to observe your child in the different situations you may have struggled to describe on the form.
Sometimes, especially when you are dealing with a child who is over or under-sensitive to sensory input, their behaviour seems odd, but you don’t connect it to anything. Other people might remark on it, but generally it will be something that is labeled as “strange” or “naughty”.
Do you have a biter, for example? Oh yes, this is a sensory thing. Take note of it and include it in your personal assessment forms.
Take note of all this strange behaviour and put it down. Not sure if it is relevant? Ask your therapist but don’t dismiss it as unnecessary.
3. Try to do the homework
I know what you are thinking because I think it too!
How do we find the time and energy to do the recommended therapy exercises with our child at home? Many of us have full time jobs and other kids to take care of.
That’s okay. You are not expected to replace the role of your child’s therapist. But you might also want your child to graduate from therapy, or perhaps “get a bit better” if you can term it that.
I often struggle to find time and energy to do therapy exercises at home. However, I really want my children to progress so I keep it simple. I do one exercise a day and try to change it from day to day. It literally takes 15 or so minutes.
I do most of their speech therapy homework around the dinner table and in their daily living activities such as getting dressed.
For physical input, I might take them to the park and encourage them to climb, swing and slide. A lot of what kids do at a playground gives them the sensory input they need and develops their muscles. And if I have taken them to the park, I don’t need to do anything else for that day.
It's all about finding ways to incorporate something into a busy schedule.
It’s not important to get this perfect, or to do it all every day. Make it manageable. You will be surprised at how much faster your child will progress with just a little help at home.
4. Educate, educate, educate.
While I don’t advocate trying to Dr Google your way through your child’s challenges, it is important to know more about what they are facing.
I find out from my therapists what they are struggling with. Then I research it at home, being very selective with the sites I take my information from.
I don’t, for instance, trust Wikipedia.
However, blogs from OTs and other therapists are a wonderful source of information. I also watch videos on YouTube occasionally, to find out what more difficult concepts mean. Importantly, I then check what I have learned with my children’s therapists.
This is because I know the internet can be misleading.
Empowering myself with knowledge has been so important. I am able to understand my children so much better and to give them the support they need. It also helps me to ignore other people when they say negative things about my twins’ behaviour because I know they just don’t understand.
Overall, having this knowledge just makes me feel better and more capable of navigating this therapy journey successfully.
5. Find support.
This is the last, and most important point. The journey of helping your child is challenging. For me it has been a super emotional one. And I could not have done it without gunning up support from several sources.
I have found support groups on social media and posted questions, or rants, when I needed feedback and some input from parents going through the same stuff.
I also express my concerns to my therapists and often they are very supportive and just make me feel better.
Family support is highly significant too. If you have a family that supports your journey, rely on them for help. Maybe they can take your child to therapy occasionally to take the burden off of you. Maybe they can help with therapy homework, or just babysit for an evening when you need to take some time for yourself.
For some parents, support may come in the form of professional psychotherapy to help them process the overwhelming emotions that can come with trying to take care of a child who has some challenges. If you can go this route, it will only benefit you in the long-run and is a valuable source of support.
Whatever your support system looks like, think of ways to utilize it best, and involve all caretakers in the process.
Navigating the therapy and development journey can be really tough. But trying to put in more effort and finding the support and advice you need makes it much easier.
And be kind to yourself. I don’t think there is a parent anywhere who finds walking this road easy.
Most importantly, good luck!
Written by: Claire Turner